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Introduction to Xoanon's Rants

Book I Chapters
 Rants Home
 Chap 1
 Chap 2
 Chap 3
 Chap 4
 Chap 5
 Chap 6
 Chap 7
 Chap 8
 Chap 9
 Chap 10
 Chap 11
 Chap 12
 Book II

This is a new section of the site I don't know what to call it yet but I'm working on that. What I plan to do here is simple: I want to read the first book of Lord of the Rings, 'The Fellowship of the Ring', go chapter by chapter, and write my thoughts, ideas and insights. Now you may be asking 'who the hell are you Xoanon? And why would I be interested in hearing what you have to say?' That's a good question, and here is the answer: I am Steven Spielberg, no really I am.

Ok, well maybe not. But I am a film student; I have made a few small films and even won international awards for them. I know the lingo and the ins and outs of the business. Now your next question will be 'Xoanon you jube, this is going to be a huge undertaking a la 'The Phantom Menace', what do you know about that?' Well you're absolutely right, I don't have the slightest idea what a mammoth project this is going to be, but what I'm after in this section is just to give you a clear sense of just ONE way these films can go.

Now, I've been working deep inside the cyber conscience and I know you folks hold a few things dear to your hearts. 1 You think Hollywood actors (of any caliber) would be a big juicy no no. 2 Tom Bombadil should be included in this film. 3 do not change a damn thing PJ!! I agree with most of those aspects, but not all of them so I will keep my preferences on the sidelines. I'll try to stick to what I THINK would make a good scene, or character or idea and not what I WANT (but nonetheless my evil alter ego might just slip in a few here and there)

To ease your 3 main concerns I'll just address them right now. I don't think this cast should be ALL Hollywood, not even most, just a small sprinkle. I do think Sean Connery would be great in this film, he draws big at the box office and I like his style, but I do not want to see him as Gandalf. I think Liam Neesan would be a really good Gandalf (just picture him saying 'One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them In the Land of Mordor where Shadows lie' in that deep sleepy voice of his! C'mon!) Elijah wood is a good choice for Frodo, though I do find Hobbits extremely hard to cast.

Tom Bombadil, now there is a sticky bottle of maple syrup if I ever saw one. David Day's book A-Z Tolkien (he should pay me for that plug) describes Tom as: Maia master of Old Forest. TB was the Hobbit name for the powerful and eccentric master of the Old Forest.. within the Old Forest his power was absolute, and no evil was strong enough to touch him. It goes on to say how he rescued the Hobbits twice and talks a bit about his wife. PJ has been quoted as saying that the TB scene (in Ep. 1) has no plot advancement, I tend to agree with him. My problem is what do we now do with The Old Forest? What about Old Man Willow? I guess some work needs to be done.

As far as how much of the book PJ will be loyal to, I'm assured he will stick to 95% accuracy. (Some films don't even have 50% accuracy when taken from a book, this has to do with what the director wants to do with the film, plus, the more closer you are to the book, the more you have to pay the author). Due to the advancements in CGI and other computer programs, PJ will have little problem re-creating all the great vistas and characters. Even some of his battle scenes will be using this new technology that I've mentioned in the news. On to the rants!

Go To Chapter
A Long-expected Party Chap 1

  BACK TO RANTS HOME Go to Rants Home

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