10:00 Mr. Frodo and Sam arrived at theatre, only to find other hobbit there already. Other hobbit cannot decide name, but is ok, as is willing to help put up tent. Go her!
10:30 Have hijacked tall passerby to help with tent. Need to use something called vector segment. Don't know what vector segment is, but sounds kinky. Perhaps would be good with strawberries?
11:00 Tent erect. Now for video set-up. Must start sticking things in holes and getting it all turned on if we want to get any action on screen. Evening def. getting kinkier.
Midnight: Fellowship assembled. Not quite as remembered from book...seem to have two Sams and someone named Shopping Cart Bob. Also do not remember so many girls.
12:10 Have Gandalf the Reversible! Go us! Unfortunately, no pointy hat. Mr. Frodo seems particularly disappointed.
12:30 Have acquired extra Elves. Elves v. pretty, if somewhat aloof. Don't think they remember Shopping Cart Bob either.
1:00: Elves have passed into truck. Is ok, as truck parked to West. Mr. Frodo gone to bed.
2:00: Mr. Frodo woke up with v. girly scream during Mines of Moria scene. Is possible slaughter of countless Orcs not best lullaby.
3:00 Movie over. Sending scouting party to 7-11 in search of the One Nachos.
3:30 Scouting party returns safely from 7-11 bearing the One Nachos. Sam pouting...claims One Nachos not at all strawberry scented. Shopping Cart Bob not nearly so picky.
4:00 Decide to watch old animated version of quest. Cannot be so bad.
4:01 Can so.
4:15 Bashki Elves even gayer than Jackson Elves! Pretty sure still no Glorfindel, but hard to tell, as all Elves dressed like Luke Skywalker.
5:00 Reporter man here. Just in time...was about to go look for convenient Palantir, as Bashki much worse than even basic cable. Reporter
man seems v. amused, but also has shoes on. Wuss.
5:15 Fellowship breaking. Ellorgaest going to work, Gandalf and wife fallen into shadow...or car. Doesn't matter, as do not remember this part
in book either. No one shot by Orcs. Feel gypped.
5:30 Hobbits glue hair to feet in front of geeky reporter man. Ha! Always knew richly hirsute feet all fake! Naturally curly my Aunt Lobelia!
6:00 Reporter man talks to smaller Sam. Mr. Frodo tells him what to say. Beginning to have suspicions about Mr. Frodo...v. large blue eyes, from Californian part of Shire, knows many things about making of Jackson movie, small, slender, v. fruity English accent. Think he may really be
John Rhys Davies in disguise.
6:30 V. cold, and beginning to rain. Fellowship beginning to huddle together for platonic, heterosexual warmth. Hobbits mostly vanished into tents, though do not understand why Mr. Frodo needs to be alone with Sam to 'discuss garden.' Would have thought weather somewhat chilly for
Reporter man left to go to fire. Wish he would bring some back.
7:00 Most of Fellowship sleeping. Shopping Cart Bob still watching animated movies. Beginning to suspect Shopping Cart Bob has masochistic
7:30 Eye of Sauron just froze over.
8:00 Fellowship awoken by Horn of Lloyd Center. Sounded suspiciously like Shopping Cart Bob yelling "Come baaaaaaack", but know this is just
Found tent attempting to escape down street. Damned hasty tents.
8:15 Four or five hobbits roughly equal to one Bob, but have managed to corrall tent. Hobbits and Bob now cold, wet, and distinctly grumpy. Elves *definitely* the prettiest.
8:30 Best cure for hasty tents is breakfast. Is no dry food available at theatre, so have decided McDonalds acceptable substitute.
8:35 Elves glide past McMuffin carnage. V. wise and fair...recognize that coming close to hobbits would lead to definite mussing of hair. Elves
remain the prettiest.
But don't get any McMuffins.
9:00 Mr. Frodo, Little Sam, and Rosie off to Gap of Rohan, and possibly also t-shirt printer on 5th. Want Tentmoot t-shirts. Have tried to warn them t-shirts may clash with Elven cloaks, but they do not seem to care. Oh well. Guess Elves will still be prettiest.
11:00 No Gap in Rohan, no printer on 5th, Mr. Frodo still has Ring. Missions accomplished: Zero. Hobbits frozen: Three. Sam does not seem
worried, as Mr. Frodo also still has big blue eyes, even if proving rather inept at whole Questing thing.
12:00 Questioned by reporter. Stupid reporter.
12:30 Gandalf back! Still no pointy hat. On bright side, now have cookies.
1:00 More hobbits here! Noted strange glint in Sam's eyes at mention of their v. large carrots.
3:00 Sudden death trivia contest. V. exciting. Level of geekness much higher than expected, but in end, mere mortals no match for amount of information put out by extremely anal Professor-type person.
6:00 Attempted to start Jeopardy, but questions seem to have been eaten by Orcs. Stupid Orcs. Must have emergency Geekmoot and reconstruct.
6:30 Jeopardy questions reconstructed. Serious geekly showdown between Gandalf and Dave. Gandalf won. Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to raise their hands.
7:00 Karaoke. Friend of Shopping Cart Bob wanted to sing "I Got You, Babe" w. Gandalf, but could not find song. Think he knew about pointy hat trick Ellorgaest and Bob both seem disturbed. May have been jealous, in which case, v. definitely Fellowship now, as all members increasingly gay.
On other hand, may simply have heard rumours that Wizards are tone-deaf.
7:30 One person still using microphone, but otherwise all pretense of conventional karaoke abandoned. Everyone singing. V. odd to see assorted hobbits, Elves, and well-bundled humans belting out "I Love Rock and Roll." Thankfully no attempts at hip-hop, as all present v. white.
8:00 Karaoke still going strong. Did not know "876-5309 Jenny" traditional Elvish ballad.
9:00 Costume contest. Arwen wins...though wonder what happened to purple dress. Seemed kind of stretched. Aragorn won second place, even without manly stubble. Think shock at seeing him bathed may have affected judges. Gandalf in third place. All v. sad not to see pointy hat trick.
9:30 Attempts at raffle ticket sales now beginning to border on extortion. Had to explain that Sting will not glow blue for sales pitch. Did not think Ellorgaest sounded like Dwarven name, but starting to have doubts, as seems v. fixated on mining all possible gold from crowd. Go him!
9:40 Has not even been 24 hours since kinky plugging-in of sound system, and now must unplug it all. Hobbits coming down with hypothermia...foot hair has small icicles and drinking song thrown off rhythm by chattering
of teeth. Too bad. Were just figuring out words.
9:45 Sam follows Mr. Frodo into theatre to mark seats. No river available. Best he can do.
10:00 Raffle finally held, to great relief of crowd. Don H. wins autographed book, much money raised for Reading is Fundamental. Sean
Astin coming to Portland! Much rejoicing, despite probability of increased confusion w. *three* Sams. Think Mr. Frodo will be v. safe.
10:15 Shadow and threat growing in East. May just be everyone finally lining up to go in.
10:30 Theatre still not allowing people in. Shadow and threat growing indeed! Tentmoot sent in out of harm's way. Mr. Frodo will take the audience to Mordor alone...
11:00 ...but Sam's coming with him!
11:00 Audience finally allowed into theatre. Now know what view must have been like from Helm's Deep as Orc army advanced. V. scary.
11:02 Sam sent back into theatre. Much pouting.
11:30 Mr. Frodo retreats into theatre. All Fellowship members now inside.
11:35 Believe may be hallucinating from cold. Seem to see Geeks engaging in some form of ritual combat or mating dance in aisles while audience throws around blown up glove.
11:37 Not hallucinating. Geeks actually attempting to enact movie...is ok, as can't be worse than Bashki.
11:40 Can so.
12:00 Movie begins. Go us!
3:00 Movie over. Aragorn still not king.